Note 59 : God

"You were so high -.... Haa hahah"

 - Agnes was on to her favorite past time, checking out old pictures, unearthing the past - ghosts, wisps of memories, almost smoke like emerges from each of those pictures. Past is a buried treasure, and she was onto looting it.
Agnes, the pirate.

"You were walking in heaven it seems Joe" said Lily..

"Yea, look at that grin" - added Agnes

"Either that or he was imagining something really fishy" -

"Ahem ahem" clearing throat to run away from a really awkward conversation i said
" yea, this was twenty 15, Goa, "

" ohhhh goaaa,!!"

Both of them chimed, waiting for a detailed story, that was never to come.

"What did you do, what did you do??" said Agnes, jumping...

"Well, the story begins with me being totally drunk and stoned and what not on a beach,  we were young and a little reckless and did all that came to mind"

"Do you mind if i write it down and you sign it" said Lily, sheepishly

"..., so when you get young and reckless, you have something to throw in my face, right !
Nevvvvveeh happening !"

("Smartass" said one voice in my head, "your kids" said another)

"So it was clicked on the night we slept on the beach, wonderfully sloshed.

 We had fun all day and the beach was nice and cold without cops and the sound of waves...., so wishing we would find mermaids next morning, we crashed on the shores" I sighed

 " i also had a dream..

It felt as if, i was in heaven, well in my head i was - but in the dream i was too,

so i was walking in heaven, singing my songs and suddenly out of nowhere came god

"Hi", he said

I said, "hello ur holiness - where is your holy cow" -

He looked angry, didn't say anything and walked away - i was still floating in the air - looking at all the whiteness.. And, came god again -

this time, he farted

I said "Holy fart !!"

"Hahaha hahahahaha, ure funny" laughed god and i grinned too and that's when i think this picture was taken.."

"You said holy fart - to god - bwhahahahha"  Ag laughed and fell of the bed.

Lil was just shaking her head looking at me...

"are you gonna disown me ??" i asked - she smiled back.

God is a comedian playing to an audience who's too afraid to laugh - said Voltaire

Smile on!

Note 58 : Love

Somewhere in the not so distant future..

"but is it not in Joe`s caring, is it not in mavshis food, how my garden waves when they see me, or in a bee resting on that very flower, suckling through the essence of her fragrance and creating a sweetness for a human tongue..is the flower not, then, being loved -love is in the act, then is it not - why give it a name Lily..." Ag asked

"what happens when the bee leaves, is wat the flower feels not love, or before the bee comes is it not anticipating love, mavshi loves us and so the food tastes good, dad - that man - and everything he feels - Ag dear - if it is in the mind will it not manifest in actions - but if it is in the mind - actions or not - it's there - so love is the feeling not action"

Women discussing love. My bipolarity - right in front of me.

Actions, feelings, the how and the why. I would say, " darlings, if you let it be, there in your eyes, your heart, your whispers and actions. Let it be where it is, dont push it - dont burn it - because it is tender as a new born - let it evolve - until it glows and shines your very soul...and for the world Let them doubt your sanity but never your love".

The debate closes.

Loves buries oceans and sinks mountains.

Enough now.

Hdk

PS :

"For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in its spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance

There are things which must cause you to lose your reason or you have none to lose” - Viktor F

Letters to Agnes and back

Dear agnes,

How are you? Do you remember me? I met you sometime ago in the park! The cotton candy aunty.

I met your pa yesterday and he was telling such beautiful things about you. So he says you are learning ballet dance and you made your pa dance on that. I wonder did he trip down? You know he has the weak limbs 

I know your father can be a handful sometimes.  But I am so glad he is taking such good care of both you girls.

You know I went to an amusement park this weekend and it was so much fun. When you come here,  very soon, I will take you to the park. It has this huge merry go round which will take you to the top of the world. 

And they have the best cotton candy, in pink and purple and red blue all the different colors. Wouldn't you love to have them all.

We will also buy so many colorful balloons.  I loce balloons.  Don't you love them Ag? Purple is my favorite color. Which is your favorite color Ag?

I will be writing to you soon.  Do write me back with youe favorite color. And dont forget your dad is not the most happening person but he is the most lovable dad.

Now you be a good girl  take care of him till the time I am away. I will see you soon.

Love,

Xyz

Hey xyz,

Can I call you xyz, I kinda give short names to everyone.. Ever wonder how Joe got his name ? He says he signs all his office emails with Joe.

Baloons are fab -.Lil loves them too and yea cotton candy was fun..we should do that sometime again..

Joe is planning the fun n fair trips and tats "only family" like he likes to call it so maybe the one with you would have to be separate.. All my girlfriends and you.. 

Abt Joe not being fun, you have to be around the house - he breaks more things than me and Lil combined..and hes singing all day along and making us dance..

Did I miss something, if I did hit me back..

Ag

Note 57 : The Old House

Dust - shaded in hues of red and brown,  was what fell off as i brushed my fingers over a lock - that looked from a different age..

Agnes was too excited to get in ..

" Will it be haunted " she asked every 7 minutes - her theories, a collage of all the scary movies she'd manage to watch..

Lil, after the 5 th time the question was repeated, quipped - " there's no such thing as ghosts - there's no proof" - her temper always lurking around the corner, is this a part of growing up - i asked myself..The car played - "Hotel California" - Agnes - like the lead in an opera and me in the chorus.

We parked the car at the point where the road was no longer motorable and walked on..

A green trail, with thorny scrubs and the yellow sun - had got us to an old, ruined - desolate house..

My restless kids wanted an adventure. So we went on a search for a haunted looking, empty house and decided to spend the night.

"You don't love your kids, do you" mom said over the phone as i told her about the plan we'd hatched.
She sighed and told me to see a doctor - i told her i loved her.

Dr. Sha..... read the broken,  scratched and torn name plate.
We all took chances at guessing it -

"Shaperman" said Ag
"Sharma, of course" said Lil
"Shaaaaaaecholate" i said - he must be a giant ball of sugarless chocolate .

The rusted lock - in my hand - Ag got the hammer - "the windows open" - said Lily as she jumped into the house - when i would have thot twice and discussed with the group. Never mind - they`re your kids - my head said to myself.

Ag jumped after and i followed -

"In a group, always" i told the air around - looking at Lil -

was i scared when my children weren't?

The house was a beautiful piece of silence - the stillness, stopped time. Mud, had formed a layer on the ground, tidily swept - spread equally over the breadth of the house..The sofa was alone, the tv without frequency - a lifeless house, like a soulless body - lay before us.

"This house is cute, it doesn't scare me" as she saw a scribbled picture of a mountain, a wall and the sun.

Lil went for the shelf - yellowed pages on grey books were her happy place; "the doctor was alone and all he did was draw and read" she proclaimed . i just assumed she knew.

The stair-case creaked, time had passed it seems, since the last time someone had cared to walk over it. I found a few pages of a diary - searched for the parent - found it in the study, where there was a barrage of other books.

We all got silent - as we trespassed the property of what seemed to be the house of a man who once lived by himself and died - all in peace .

He came, he saw and he went..

The plan to stay back was canned, we headed back - jumped out of the window.. "We must next time try the road on the other side" said the relentless Agnes..

Lil just scowled at her..

 As we head back to our lives with all the color and love, the rusted lock - clicked and the greyed Dr. Sh smiled as he walked off for his evening walk

Hdk